EDMONTON – Fresh from his landslide win in Alberta’s provincial
election, soon-to-be Premier Jason Kenney has already shown that he’s
serious about rebuilding the economy by running down three different
kinds of endangered species in his blue pickup truck.

“We’re going to get our pipelines built and Albertans back to work,”
rejoiced Kenney driving offroad in a nature preserve. “We will remove
the red tape that gets in the way of our entrepreneurial spirit.”

A whooping crane was no match for the mighty power of a Dodge Ram
1500 travelling at at 120 km/h, a demonstration of Kenney’s obsession
for job creation at all costs. The swift fox was not swift enough to
avoid the awesome energy of what the UCP leader calls the “Alberta
Advantage” or the crushing weight of a half-ton truck.